Saturday, January 3, 2009


If i am to be reminded of 2008..

2008 that saw me starting my career life. I still remembered one question i posed to a doctor who gave lecture on life as a doctor during induction week

'Is there anything good about being a houseman in Malaysia"

He chukled and splurted


Now that i have my fair share of being an intern (houseman) in this country, i can say that he's wrong.

Yes, i admit that i wasn't all high when i first started either. i pondered whether i was worth for the job and even contemplated to quit. I once called Farina during my call, among a few others.. crying and asked her

'Do you think i can do this?'

She gave me her words, as always.

I persevered. I didnt know how i overcomed all the lacking confidence and ignore the condescending remarks by the minors but i knew i wanna prove something, most importantly to myself.

I found myself great clique of friends who're always there to enjoy good food casual chat and social activities. I amused myself with lingering fondness towards that senior doctor for a brief 4 months. I realised i would be smiling happily whenever job finished by 5pm. I showered myself with holidays and shopping spree with the good pay i earned.

To this day, i could not see myself doing any other job and the ultimate goal to become a professor will be achieved by the age 40.


2008 also marked the end of my 5 years waiting. How irony as i first warned myself that i would not fall for this person when he first offered me a friendship 5 years back, i failed to keep that promise. As i stick beside that person listening to his fling and sorrow in between his happy days, i thought it was the right thing to do. It was a long winding story not worth mentioning now. At the end of the day, i learnt that i will never be the one and i knew i could not stay around anymore. The day when i actually promised myself to pursue this heart matter, only to find myself reading about his current flame minutes later. I made my move. I sacrified my beloved virtual space and my other contact number for this. I ignored the attempt to come back into my life.

Have i ever regret the 5 years wasted?


Because i believed what Ibrahim said to me

"He's taking you for granted. He'll gonna regret it but..his loss"

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