Monday, March 29, 2010


The words lingered, stinging everytime i thought of it. Of course it only brings back negative vibe to which i never enjoyed

So i came up with a 2 years' plan. No, i dont do sweet revenge but i am to prove my worthiness...

- Since i wont get any recommendation to stay, i'll go wherever they're going me to send me away. No point arguing with those who doesnt care.

- Apply for district hospital as soon as possible. I figured, instead of wasting time doing something i never enjoyed (that's what scapegoat does, anyway) i might as well face my fear and get away from my comfort zone. Hospital Tanah Merah would be ideal for a few reason-experience and logistic.

- Find ways to attend all those required course-PALS, BLS, ALS and another course which i forgot.

- Buy books and read up!

- Get acquinted with those who're doing Master and get to know the pathway.

- After a year, go to JKNK and demand for transfer.

- Do the ultimate step: apply for Master in Emergency Medicine.

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah jalanku ini..

Sunday, March 28, 2010

The End Is The Beginning..

In a few days' time, i will end my housemanship..Previously i was all excited to come up with a list on how to make it all memorable, if not durable.

But today i learnt the real truth.

No matter how good your work performance,

No matter how much you value the job for personal satisfaction,

No matter how well you answer the question during the final assessment,

No matter how earnest you feel about pursuing the specialty,

No matter how humble you walk around the rest,

No matter what..

But if you dont have pretty face with flirty appearance, you're just nothing.

You're not even welcomed nor recognised.

But as the words above mean,

This is just the beginning.

I take this as a challenge to fulfill in 5 year's time.

For i believe that my fate is not in your hand.

I forever have My LOrd with me.

Monday, March 22, 2010


I thought i would be writing something nice and happy to make up for the infrequent update but i guess, i need to get this out of my system.

Have i been bad for keeping something to myself to avoid fitnah?

I've observed so many. I've learnt from others. I dont wanna be the topic for conversation. I dont wanna make fool of myself again.

I thought it will be better to keep mum about it until i am certain myself.

Little did i know, when i finally decided to became the reason for hatred and misunderstanding.


Now i know whom i can count on. Now i accept that people can treat others differently simply by superficial insight about the whole scenario.