Friday, July 30, 2010

Death angel..

Do you know what i hate most about my job?

No, it's more than those lazy biatches in white uniform...

It's when i have to break the news to the family members that their beloved is dying or couldnt make it.

It crushes my heart everytime.

Let me tell you a brief backgound scenario: most of them were either from middle or low socioeconomic status. Some were old, some were frail, some were poor. These people tugged my heart everytime i look at.

It happened again last night. The husband had to stay back to take care of their little kids. The wife was struggling with dengue shock syndrome. He arrived after we've intubated the patient. I just couldnt describe his expression upon learning the current status, nor could i imagine how he felt. The other children were there, arrived one by one.

He asked for a place to perform prayers. I showed his washroom and politely request a space from the neighbouring patients. So did the children, he asked them to do the same. I quickly turned away and made myself occupied before tears showed up again.

The prognosis was guarded, we the professionals knew it. Yet, we tried our very best to save her with fluids, drugs and CPR. From time to time, i took glance at the old man. He was restless and struggled for the remaining strength. God, thanks for the mask to hide my sadness.

I had to left to attend other ill cases in casualty. After a while, i learned about the death. Secretly, i was relieved for not being there at that moment,

No, it wasnt about the audit...but i could not bear looking at the old man and his children. It was devastating for me.

Ya Allah, please forgive the allahyarhamah and bless her family with strength.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Sakinah. Mawaddah.Rahmah

I had to take a leave to attend pre-marriage course cos i thought, might as well get it over and done with so that i could focus on doing the preparation after raya.

I didnt put up high expectation for these 2-days event so i brought along another sequale of thriller fiction and my organiser. just in case i doze off, u know;)

I had fun observing the participants instead..

* Out of curiosity, i simply scanned through the name list and IC number because majority of them couldnt be more than 20 years old. Spot on! i wished to ask those 15 years old, what they were doing in this course?? shouldnt they go to school or at least stay at home and help their parents?? goodness gracious, i was busy having fun with my girlfriends and drooling over hot celebrities(shahrukhkhan,LOL?!) around their age. am i ancient?

* I saw it once and i double-checked again. I secretly hoped that the girl only had big tummy and not actually being pregnant. Naive as i might be, her petite frame told me otherwise. I didnt know how to regard the scenario-that it's actually good for her to finally get married or cursed her for carrying baby out-of-wedlock ?

* What should i say about the talk itself? That the one and only example every speaker could think of when it comes to marriage issue is sex. There were at least 5 different terms or sounds they came up with to describe coitus. The only logical explanation i could came up with was that they had to tally the speech content with the audience. As i've mentioned, majority were barely more than 20 years old so these religious personnel had to feed on the kids' raging hormone..or, simply their own??

*I figured that i learned more from reading Saifulislam series than attending this. I have no complaint though cos i secured myself a hidden spot and got engaged in the forensic thrill so by the end of it, i'm done reading the book.

Whatever it is, formality is still a formality. I'll still be going tomorrow.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Tick tock..

Now, stop browsing through others' blog and start updating yours!

Opsie-daisy, i'm guilty as charged for abandoning this space. perhaps, i've lost the touch of writing my mind but i am not ready to give it up, yet. I mean how the hell am i going to keep in touch with most of my dearest if i dont keep this little journal.

Life has been great, if not better. Alhamdulillah. At least, i know the difference of being busy happily and grumpily idle. Yes, i occasionally recalled my leisure time doing opthalmology but got stuck with almost daily attack of migraine and multiple (stress) mouth ulcer . Now, i dont have ample time as i'll be on my feet around the clock reviewing patients in the ward, finishing off clinic and at times covering for casualty as well. Apart from those lazy nurses, i have no other complaint. i am smiling most of the time and i could really appreciate my job.

Now i understand why people shouldn't get engaged for a long period. I'm blessed with someone so patient, otherwise this might not work out, lol! i could easily throw tantrum and sulk all day long over a tiny issue, but God bless him, he just know how to handle the situation until i cool down.

Okay, i promise to write more over certain life issues/ of now, i feel like having a good chat with my bestie over the phone...

Take care!