Saturday, February 19, 2011

It's gonna be OK...

When i looked at the image, my heart sank...i knew what's the top of differential diagnosis as i've been dealing with these through my work line.



Upon presented myself to the specialist with the investigation done, i couldnt handle it anymore...i was so much in denial, i broke down in front of her. i knew the diagnosis already and its a lot to take in...trying to buy time (and still hoping that we both could be wrong), i requested to be referred to the subspecialty for this condition after the weekend...



Amidst the tears and so many thoughts running through my mind, slowly i learnt to accept the news...its devastating but its not the end of the world...



By the time i turned up to the subspecialty clinic, i'm more prepared and ready for treatment...Thanks to the joyous (ex-boss) clinician, i did feel a lot better after coming out from her room..It was actually a missed diagnosis back in October last year but let's not dwell on it..Allah certainly planned everything well..



Now i'm already on treatment and slowly regaining my strength back.. emotionally and physically, i must say...Apart from little side effect, i'm coping with the illness..



2 days back while having breakfast, mum pointed out that Allah must've loved me alot because i never get things easy...be it education, career, love life and now health issue...but all ends well each time..i silently agreed because i thought of the same thing earlier on...Allah loves me so much to give me trial one after another...He wants to keep me closer to him, thus testing my patience and faith this way.. I must've gotten too occupied with heavy workload and marriage that He somehow missed me and wants me to spend more time with Him...Alhamdulillah, i'm grateful for that because i realised at the end of the day, it's Allah and only Allah whom i need to please...i'm enjoying my solitude with peace of mind...



Disclaimer:



1. Sorry but i have no intention to disclose the diagnosis to the public.. Those whom i have shared, please please respect my wish...Those i didnt, its not that i dont trust but i cant handle too much of sympathy..I know that you all care and that comfort me enough..but i would really appreciate prayers from you, honestly....



2. This also should stop people from giving remarks that why does doctor fall sick? we're human first then doctor, mind you.



3. I shall say that this is nothing related to pregnancy (before anyone jumps into the conclusion) but surely affect my family planning..so pls be tactful before you pop up that fave question, ok?

5 comments:

Blogger Mommy said...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t
Dear darling cousin, doa kcik, semoga nur terus bersemangat, tabah, sabar & positif selalu. InsyaAllah, apa yg berlaku, ada hikmahnya & yg pahit itu, ada manisnya. Take care. I'll always pray for u

Lots of luv
-kcik-

Nur said...

Wslm kakcik.... thanks for ur prayers..insya Allah, we'll have the strength and patience just like our mom's... pls pray for our happiness..

Hanin Farhana said...

Dearest Yatt,

I might not know the diagnosis, but I think I can guess..
I am positively sure you'll be strong enough to handle this test..
It's okay, dear..
Everything happen for a good reason, and Allah knows you will be able to cope with this..
Take care of yourself, dear friend..
You and me may be far from each other but trust me, you are one of my friends that my mum remembers the most.. thus, you are one of special person..
Will always pray for your health.. :)
Ganbatte ne!

yatt said...

Hanin, thanks soo much for the comforting words...

its devastating because the illness is none other than occupational hazard but i guess, it's my turn and time to get tested by Allah..

my warmest regards to your mum and insya Allah, really hope to meet her again..hugss

awesome blossom said...

you are one tough cookie. whatever it is, hope you'll get through it. my best wishes and prayers are always with you. xoxo.