So, can i write my mind off here?
I put my facebook on hiatus-no updates, no reply, no whatsoever until further notice. It used to be a great communication tool to keep in touch and share jokes. Nonetheless, someone created some scene that made me thought- ok, this is no good. i better keep myself away from this highschool drama before i lost my cool.
I aint gonna describe of the ugly scene within the circle but enough to come up with a few lessons- for self reminder at least. Yes, i have no intention to put anyone in uncomfortable position so just listen and ponder.
For me, this is a big word that comes in any relationship. As simple as respecting one's privacy and personal choice can actually bring the friendship to greater length. I do not have to agree to their decision but i shall keep mum about it unless i was asked for some opinion. I know how it feel when people question my preferences regarding certain personal story so i will not act the same way to others. If it's a good news, i will be happy for her and if it's a bad one, i'll just be there if needed. No hard and fast rules about who should be included in the treaty of trust.
Respect also will explain a lot about public embarassement. Truly, if i am having some issues with friend i would most probably keep quiet or try to talk to someone i trusted. I shall not put the person into public embarassement for whatever reason. Even if i do not feel like being the bestest friend, i should not play around with their dignity while lowering down mine. Treat others as how i want to be treated.
This isnt an easy thing to do so if i decided to go for it, i shall not bring up the issue. ever. again. It's funny if i have admitted my mistakes and yet i keep on acting victim. Doesnt sound right at all. So the next time i realised my bad, i should leave it behind and move forward. This makes the world a better place to live in, seriously! It irked me when people kept on bringing up the past and acted victim so i shall not torture the other with the same attitude.
After all being said and done, it's definitely ok for me to keep friends at arm's length. As i do not mind being excluded by some, i expect the same from the rest. Experiences thought me well on this and people should not hate or blame me for being selective. Even if they do, i have nobody to please but Allah. I shall put my self-respect and dignity forward than anything else. After all, friends come and go, only the real ones will stay.
Over the long holiday, i pondered on this issue and learnt the lesson from what happened within my environment recently. Being at the receiving end of bad anger management widen the distance so i will try my best to keep whatever angst or disagreement to minimum level. I may keep my temper and dissapointment checked most of the time but if i do, i hope i havent hurt anyone's feeling. It's not an excuse for me to lash out on other people when i can't cope with the stress cause no matter what, i will leave a scar.
So i had my reality check. Let the remaining of April be the moment of self-reflection and lesson learnt from others.