Sleepless

As i lied awake in the hospital bed, waiting for the antibiotic to kick in...

I thought of January..

Little did i know, when i said that it will be the month of letting go..it would be losing my 2 favourite men.

The first one was by choice. He could not make it. He chose to dissapear into the thin air. He chicken out. He dare not to say whatever the reason for his absence. It's funny, when i thought i learnt from previous mistake and can actually have platonic relationship..the very person chicken out. so i thought, ok fine. just go away. i wish i can be this mean bitch that keeps on wishing he will learn his lesson for treating a girl like a shit but i did not. i just wanna forgive him and keep my heart lighter. perhaps i'm not a good person either in the past.

But the second one was inevitable. my very own clique, my closest buddy has got his transfer application approved. damn, my heart sank when i first heard about the news. there wont be six of us anymore. being happily married but living a bachelor life (as his wife's abroad), he's been our partner in crime since. if the world has snail mail, we then have snail jokes when one funny stories/incident would lead to another good laugh..and we keep our youth that way.. and my latest inside joke with him would be ' a date with indonesian maid watching badminton'. go figure! deyyy, you will be sorely missed:p

Two different ending. Two different emotion.

Falling harder

Tak lelah
Kau beri sgalanya
'Tuk yakinkan ku
Kau sayang pada ku
Hingga kau
Taklukkan diriku
Membuat ku tersedar
Ku t'lah merasakan sesuatu

Di saat ku mulai sayang
Di saat ku mulai cinta
Kau yang hilangkan rasa untukku

Chorus:
Sedih yang mesti ku pendam
Rasa yang menjadi hampa
Ku jalani semua
Walau cinta kini tak berarah

Kau pergi tak beralasan
Tak seperti yang ku pinta
Ku menunggu tiba waktu kau ucapkan
Kau sayang padaku

Life Expression

This will be the month i choose to let go and move on.

This will be the month i wanna love myself more.

This will be the month i will laugh louder.

This will be the month when i will forgive and smile.

This will be the month everything starts new