Kembali

However long it takes, however difficult it seems, or however lonely you may become, Nuryati, remember, you live in a dream world where everything can change in an instant.

Especially when you've been visualizing.

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After a while, i managed to shove the sadness under the carpet and thanks for all the concern but i am never a girl who can express her sorrow well. it's best done with crying quietly under the blanket, alone. regardless, all the virtual hugs and love are humbly appreciated. honestly!

Put that aside, i have a long list of gratitude to make

- Will be visiting my sister's family in Kedah and most likely extend the journey to Penang during the 1st weekend in February.

-Remember my wish list somewhere in November about getting together with KAMI's girlfrens...It's been almost a year since i last met most of them. Also my unwritten wishlist to watch PUTERI GUNUNG LEDANG MUSICAL THEATRE once i got to know that there'll be 3rd edition somewhere in February. Dreams come true, i have booked 6 tics to watch this legendary story with my favourite girls one day after Valentine's..yes, another trip to KL next month.

Recently i learned that there'll be birthday celebration for my nephew on the same weekend. wah, menarik!

-If there's one thing that keeps me going energetically in the general hospital and to continue with social life, it would be my wonderful HERBALIFE.

Speaking of which has also give me a meaningful way to achieve my dream in life, that is to make a difference in people's life. This scientifically proven products has helped thousands if not millions of people around the world to achieve better health and change their life and i am glad to be part of this , both as customer and now as wellness buddy.

We all have choices in life and i'm proud to choose HERBALIFE

- I found myself enjoying Obst& Gynae more than i thought i would. I was told by at least 6 different people that i have this Obst & Gynae look (way before i started in this department) and i found myself laughing hard but at the same time wondering why.

It's easy to enjoy the job where i can find endless self-satisfaction despite inevitable lacking. As long as i work safe, establish good rapport and able to deal with emergency, i think i'm an OK.

- I have just finished reading this book and found myself making a gratitude list who will receive a small gift from me this year. i hope you're in the list;)

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menarilah dan terus tertawa

walau dunia tak seindah surga

bersukurlah pada yang kuasa

cinta kita di dunia

selamanya…

Long stare...

I am feeling gloomy since yesterday evening. There's no need to deny the fact. It was a bad decision to bring myself to the forbidden space. i should've known better but i better admit that i wasn't as strong as how i'd like people to perceive me. I have my moments of falling down hard.

It was the tears i shed after 4months.

No regret, no wishful thinking, nothing of that. i've always known where do i stand and prepared for the worst.

Hanya rasa sayu yang ada. sedih juga mungkin.

I need words of comfort.

4 months...

Cuba kau dengar
Cuba kau cuba
Diam bila ku cuba
Tuk berbicara dengan kamu

Pernahkah kau ada
Bila ku perlu
Tuk meluahkan rasa hati

Dan bila kau bersuara
Setia ku mendengar
Agar tenang kau merasa

Siapa
Sebenarnya aku padamu
Mungkin sama dengan teman lain
Yang bisa kau buat begitu

Dan bila
Tiada lagi teman bermain
Kau pulang tuk dapatkan aku
Itulah aku…padamu

Cuba kau lihat
Cuba kau cuba
Renung ke mata aku
Bila ku kaku melihatmu

Pernahkah kau ada
Bila ku perlu
Tuk menyatakan rasa sakit
Dalam diri

Dan bila kau perlu
Setia ku menunggu
Agar senang kau merasa

Siapa
Sebenarnya aku padamu
Mungkin sama dengan teman lain
Yang bisa kau buat begitu
Dan bila
Tiada lagi teman bermain
Kau pulang tuk dapatkan aku
Itulah aku…padamu

Maafkan kerana aku tak pernah
Terlintas tuk menulis pada mu
Salahkan ku
Tak mungkin lagi aku meminta
Untuk kau mendengar..
Untuk kau melihat ke mataku

Siapa
Sebenarnya aku padamu
Mungkin sama dengan teman lain
Yang bisa kau buat begitu
Dan bila
Tiada lagi teman bermain
kau pulang tuk dapatkan aku
itulah aku…padamu

As the memories become distant...

In my dream, he was very upset that i left without a word...he declared that i was the best person he could talk to and no one could replace.

I woke up from the dream feeling bittersweet..

I knew all along, i was a plain secret keeper to you.

Lelaki idaman

Eheh, sampai masa untuk bercerita angan2 saya sejak 5 tahun yang lalu...

Ada tiga kriteria

Dia mestilah gemar bersukan. Bestla kan to have something in common, to share the same passion.. nti takdela duduk terperap menternak badan je, speaking of which another reason why he has to be sporty..ahaha, saya takmo suami yang boncit, please! ehem, i mean kalu boncit sebab masakan saya yang sedap takpelah tapi takmo jugak, dia kena rajin bersukan supaya kekal tegap...i'd rather go on dates playing basketball or enjoying brisk walk than duduk menghadap each other tersipu2 malu konon ayu di kedai makan...tak tahannn!
lagipun, man doing sports looks hawwttt!

Yang keduanya ialah harus pandai panjat pokok. sebabnye mudah aje, saya suka makan buah jadi dia kenala pandai carikan...praktikal;)

Yang ketiga yang bakal menjadi bonus extravaganza kepada saya ialah jika dia pandai bersilat...entahla, maybe sebab ada ciri2 kemachoan kemelayuan dalam silat, juga unsur2 protective dan high self-esteem yang saya rasa penting untuk kehidupan saya kelak. haa betul la tuh~!

sekian hikayat saya buat kali ini..harap semuanya terhibur dan selamat menggelakkan saya sambil berguling2 di lantai:p

tapi andaikata angan2 saya ini menjadi kenyataan, jgn lupa ingatkan saya untuk jemput kalian ke kenduri kesyukuran nti....hahah!

Psttt...idea untuk menceritakan angan2 ini tercetus selepas melihat seorang jejak silat yg yummmyyy di wedding peon harituh..kalu tak, takdelah sampai nak runtuh meja semua org busy suruh Ya duduk cepat2 sbb nak usha dia kan?kan?kan?

Congratulations!

We called each other 'gossip partner' during highschool (sambil2 beratur semasa assembly atau ketika menghadiri kelas Kak Antha) and not only that, we shared moments of being ahli PBSM yang tegar, ber-jungle trekking bersama-sama, curi2 menonton Kuch Kuch Hota Hai di Sunway Pyramid di samping aktiviti2 picisan yang lain.

If not for this space, i hardly can imagine we'd still keep in touch after school. Even so, we didn't do phone calls as such but for once when i decided to give her a ring sometime ago last year, she exclaimed

'Yatttt!! ko budak SSP yang ketiga aku bagitauuu pasal benda nih..'

Yeay, my hunch was right and i know i wouldn't missed it for the world.

Even if it means looking out for the ketua HO the 1st week i joined O&G department to book for my one day leave, rushing off to the airport after sleepless oncall and almost lost my handphone out of klutz; i'd do anything to be there to witness the moment.

Seeing her happiest face with her man made all worthwhile. I just smiled (trying to hide the braces, as anis would cheekily point it out) and enjoyed the happiness surrounding me that night.

Congratulations Peon and Zeff. You two deserve each other;)

Wishful Seven

First of all, selamat pengantin baru to both of my favourite girls. Peon and Honey, u looks soo lovely on ur wedding day..tumpang gembira=)

It's time to list down about 2009...

1. I'm planning to join my family for umrah this coming March. Hopefully by then i'll be in either paeds or ortho so that 14 days break (including weekend) wouldn't be an issue.

2. I'm buying a new laptop. The old one's still in good shape but i think i wanna have a smaller one for travelling (EXCUSE! EXCUSE! EXCUSE!) I think i can reward myself with that once i'm done with O&G...lalalala

3. It's time to settle down with a marriage=)

4. I'm going travelling with my girlfriends (whichever clique it might be). It's so much better to shop and pamper myself with my hardly-earned money...

5. I'm going to finish up reading all the books i bought earlier last year and polish up my average English.

6. Addition to my collection of clothes, bags, watches, perfumes and shoes....

7. Make more money and share it with others...

You’re the kind of person

Who’s hard to forget,

A one-in-a-million

To the people you’ve met.

Your friends are as varied

As the places you go,

And they all want to tell you

In case you don’t know:

That you make a big difference

In the lives that you touch,

By taking so little

And giving so much!

Significant

If i am to be reminded of 2008..

2008 that saw me starting my career life. I still remembered one question i posed to a doctor who gave lecture on life as a doctor during induction week

'Is there anything good about being a houseman in Malaysia"

He chukled and splurted

'NO.'

Now that i have my fair share of being an intern (houseman) in this country, i can say that he's wrong.

Yes, i admit that i wasn't all high when i first started either. i pondered whether i was worth for the job and even contemplated to quit. I once called Farina during my call, among a few others.. crying and asked her

'Do you think i can do this?'

She gave me her words, as always.

I persevered. I didnt know how i overcomed all the lacking confidence and ignore the condescending remarks by the minors but i knew i wanna prove something, most importantly to myself.

I found myself great clique of friends who're always there to enjoy good food casual chat and social activities. I amused myself with lingering fondness towards that senior doctor for a brief 4 months. I realised i would be smiling happily whenever job finished by 5pm. I showered myself with holidays and shopping spree with the good pay i earned.

To this day, i could not see myself doing any other job and the ultimate goal to become a professor will be achieved by the age 40.

Hmm.

2008 also marked the end of my 5 years waiting. How irony as i first warned myself that i would not fall for this person when he first offered me a friendship 5 years back, i failed to keep that promise. As i stick beside that person listening to his fling and sorrow in between his happy days, i thought it was the right thing to do. It was a long winding story not worth mentioning now. At the end of the day, i learnt that i will never be the one and i knew i could not stay around anymore. The day when i actually promised myself to pursue this heart matter, only to find myself reading about his current flame minutes later. I made my move. I sacrified my beloved virtual space and my other contact number for this. I ignored the attempt to come back into my life.

Have i ever regret the 5 years wasted?

No.

Because i believed what Ibrahim said to me

"He's taking you for granted. He'll gonna regret it but..his loss"